Things Head Refs Hate #1

This will end up being a series, cause I hate a lot of things (and only some of them are related to derby).

I really really really hate it when there's an official review, and the bench coach lays out their complaint and when we discuss it, we realise that:

1 - The bench coach is right and we fucked up.
2 - None of us was in the right position to call it/see it.
3 - We have to turn down the official review.

I don't mind if a bench coach has their official review upheld. I LOVE IT. We made a mistake or we missed something, but it got FIXED. Official reviews help keep us honest, and they make sure that things are kept fair. It emphasises that we're working with the teams to facilitate a game of derby, not that they're trying to 'catch us out' and we get huffy when they're right (I know some people think like this. Honestly, if you're huffy that someone corrects something that has impact on the game, you're not cut out to be an official.)

But when we are 99% sure that we've fucked up and WE CAN'T FIX IT, I hate it. Because we can't fix it. We can't sort out something unfair that's happened. That bugs me.

Our priorities as officials should always be:

Safety > Fairness > Game flow

Safety trumps all other things.
Fairness is so important for the skaters to trust us.
Keeping the game flowing makes for a real/straightforward game.

So to my fellow refs - if non-combative bench coaches asking a question/having an OR makes you huffy/upset/whatever, then you really need to have a sit down think about why and try to see it as an opportunity to improve.

To bench coaches/captains - If you're right, we genuinely want to uphold your official review. I promise you, that nothing makes me happier than upholding an OR - it means we've fixed a fuck up. (I'm also happy to turn down an OR if we know that we have all the information and all is still good).

But those ones where we think you're right, but can't uphold it - those are the ones that bug us.

Sometimes junior skaters are taller than me.

Last Saturday, I had the experience of reffing a juniors exhibition game. Half hour, single period game.

I've certainly never had a captains' meeting open with one of the captains announcing "I'm really scared". But I've never had a captain come up to my elbow either.

What can you do in that situation? As refs we're often called on to be the 'adult' in the room - defining who's been 'bad', setting limits, being asked to decide things that really have nothing to do with us. I've said before that sometimes teams seem to think we're their mums. But when you are the adult, it's time to step up.

I emphasised that our first job is safety and the safety of our participants is number one. It's true and it's something that people forget. Fairness is obviously a huge part of our job, but safety is really the most important thing. And I truly believe that. I could look that kid in the eye and say "My number one job is safety. I am here to make sure that you and your team mates and the other team are safe. Nothing is more important to me, okay?". I think he believed me. I meant it.

The rest of the captains' meeting was pretty standard stuff - clarifications, rules, all that jazz. But I tried, more than I have ever tried, to emphasise safety and fun. I think I'm growing soft in my old age - I didn't even try and put the fear of god (that'd be me) in them. And the kids seemed to appreciate it, and seemed excited for their game.

It seemed like it might all be ok and everyone could have fun.

Then a kid threw up in the penalty box.